We survived it!

So we did it we survived the first week if back to school. Tuesday went well Haley came home a beast because she was overly tired. Amanda called at 3:15 to tell me she forgot tennis shoes and was wearing flip flops and if she marches in them she gets a demerit. So being the mom I am I hauled them up to the school. Had to park in the student lot because busses were still loading had to walk through 500 kids to get to the band room and no child in sight. Finally handed them off to a band kid and left. I have refused to bail her out anymore, she has to be responsible for herself she is 15 now. Scarey to think I left home at that age.

But other than that we made it through a week. My classes are going well, I have done all my online class stuff through Spetember 30th so that feels good. We have a test in Accounting on Wednesday I am not looking forward to but I think I am ready for. I took a test in my online class and got a 100, so that is good.

The week is a bit stressed as I go to school Monday and Wednesday nights so I don't get home till 8. Amanda has band and leadership meeting on Tuesday she gets home at 6:30 and Thursday practice till 6, Friday she stays from 8AM will 10:30 PM after the football game. So Saturday and Sundays are relax days, LOL

Struggling

SO it is no secret we have been going to church lately and I love it. I don't feel at home there yet but it is getting better. This week we are having revival and Sunday we went as a family, Monday we missed because I had school and dh was waiting on a phone call about a job interview. Last night me and the girls went as dh was on said interview.

I freak out with this stuff, Amanda goes off to sit with her friends and leaves me alone with Haley, so I try to keep her quiet until things start. It was a wonderful night awesome music, awesome drama team, awesome witnesses and the funniest preacher I am sure I have ever heard.

I came home feeling better and worse? Makes no sense but I am so longing for this relationship with god like my dh and oldest dd have, I am waiting for that Tada moment and yet I feel like we are getting closer but it doesn't happen.

My MIL and I have been talking lately about forgiveness she thinks my wall is due to my anger towards my dad for my abuse and my mom for how she handled things. And I can't say that she is wrong. I want to forgive my mom, but I know that is going to take a talk with her that I am sure scares me the most. But I think in time this can happen.

Forgive my father? Really I am not sure how to let this go, I mean of course I never want to have anything to do with him ever, but can I forgive him? Can I let it go? I really don't know if I can. It isn't like I dwell on my abuse daily and think about it all the time, I don't but can I really not have hatred in my heart for this person who chose to hurt me in the worst possible way only as a way to hurt my mother. Why use the life of a child (YOUR CHILD) to seek revenge?

I am reading an awesome book about seeking God and that is what I am doing, maybe this being on my heart and brought out is my way of rationalizing things. Who knows?

Day One!

Well day one in Principles of Financial Accounting was pretty boring we went over the Syllabus and that was it. I have homework I have to read chapter 1 before Wednesday nights class. I am not near as freaked out as I was, I think I will do well in this class.

Introduction to computers, I think I will do well in this too although the whole Online class thing is a little hard to get used to. They use discussion Boards something I am very familiar with, but it seems like there is so much info on there, I hope I don't miss anything.

Of course add to my going to school next week the girls start back on Tuesday so along with Amanda having Marching band practice 2 nights a week and a game performance every Friday, should be busy every week, my weekends I will probably sleep away, LOL

Starting School!

Just a quick post as I need to head out the door to class. I start College today, I ma pretty excited and scared. 1 in class and 1 online for this semester. I am shooting for my Associates in Accounting. Wish me luck I will post about it tomorrow.

Kids and dogs at work!!!

Yeah such a fun combination, LOL NOT!

Mark has really needed a break, Amanda is at band camp all week and he needed to mow so I brought Haley and Mojo to the office with me. Now Mojo alone is not an issue besides his barking tirade anytime anyone comes in the door. But wow the 2 of them together is like a tornado.

From the moment we got here this morning it is whens lunch? I am hungry how much longer? Of course I caved at 11:30 let her eat and now it is when's snack? My god is food all she can think about? How can mommy loose weight if you are always eating. Eveyrtime the phone rings she needs to tell me something.

Then poor Mojo can't move without her being on top of him questioning what he is doing, LOL I may just go insane today. :) Just thought I would share.

And another one Down...

Wow does the fun ever stop? We let our Director of Ops go on Friday, not a happy day as he was the oldest employee here besides the owner. But it was a much needed move. He of course will find another job quick and not live off wellfare for as long as he can like my assistant we let go.

It awes me in society today married couples are penalized for being married. But a woman who refuses to marry a man but shacks up can get full health benefits for her kids, can get help with her power, rent and phone and get food stamps. Because Social Services doesn't know about the man living with her is paying her bills. So my assistant was a lazy ass who gets to sit home and make more sitting at home doing nothing then when she was sitting here at the office doing nothing. I think it is sad that there are people out there now that really need help and can't get it because of low lifes like her.

My 2 cents :)

Busy Busy

Well Thursday I fired my assistant at the office. She was just not cutting it I had hung on to her for way too long like 11 months too long, LOL. I needed help last September when I hired her but from about day 2 I realized we weren't a good fit. She was lazy and I am not. I mean sure I can waste the day with the best of them, but I make sure all my work is done before I goof off.

So now I pay for letting her go, not that she did alot but answering the phone is such a big pain in the butt to me. I get lost in that conversation and forget what I was working on. Not sure if I will hire anyone else right away or not. Right now I am leaning towards no. Once I get a good routine going I think I will be fine.